Here we go....

Well I was getting online to journal about Steven leaving tomorrow and Jamie beat me to it!! haha
We are packing. I am folding clothes for Steven and he is running around all over trying to get everything ready to head out tomorrow. I have never felt more prepared and at peace than this summer. This is summer number 3 for us. It feels good to be at a good place spiritually before heading into it. I don't think we will have to go more than 1 week without seeing each other and we all have Jimmie and Laura's wedding to look forward to at the end of all the camps! I get the blessing of going one looonnng week in June with the guys to Giddings Texas with our wonderful friends Matt and Rachel. I am soo looking forward to staying up late and having girl time. I absolutely feel so blessed to live this life. I would not trade my husbands job for anything in this world. Even with the bad days. I love it. It is only by God's love in our lives that it continues to work out better than expected every summer.

Steven worked hard on the house this week and I worked hard in the yard. HAHA funny huh? He made several home improvements and I am so excited about them. We now have a fan in our bedroom and a new Starbucks looking light in our kitchen instead of that huge, ugly candle thing. He also spray painted the blades on our fan in the living room and bought new globes for the lights. We have switched all of our light bulbs to the curly ones (energy saving lights) haha. We are a little greener :)

This is a cute pic from Chad and Steph's wedding of us. Maybe one of my favorites we have taken. We had a wonderful weekend at the wedding! It was a blast and we are looking forward to seeing those crazy kids tomorrow. They will have the glow I bet!

Thanks to Memorial Day for a much needed day off! I get to go to Chattanooga tomorrow with the guys and spend the night. I am really excited! Everyone have a wonderful weekend!

God's Faithfulness

Romans 8:28
And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

This last week I have felt God pursuing my heart. I was challened this week by a great man of God named Coach Fred. Ronnie is very blessed to have this man in his life everyday as his basketball coach up at Moody.
I have found a pattern in myself of worrying whether things will work out. I worry about outcomes. I did this this weekend in Texas. I had voiced some of this worrying to Coach and he looked at me and said, "Maris- do you not believe that God works all things together for the good of those who love him?" I was challenged in that moment with my belief in the word of God. Do I live my life BELIEVING and walking in this truth that God has put in his word. I know it in my head and could quote that verse to you- but I will be honest, I have not laid my life on top of this verse and taken my feet off the ground. The more in which I thought about this verse the more I could look back in my life and see the evidence. Example- If you know us you know that the summer months are very challenging for us. As I look back every summer God has provided strength and random chances to see my husband while he has been gone. The details of me getting off of work have always worked out. God has his mighty hand in my life. I think about Joseph in the Bible. He was arrested for a crime he did not do. Again he stayed faithful and God worked it together for good. This life is not about me and things working out for my good. I will tell you that my trust in the Father has grown this week. I trust him more and I am not worrying as much. This verse has brought so much freedom.

I have been thinking here lately about why we sing worship songs. This weekend as I sat under Spur leading worship we sang a song that they sing often. This song is called Majesty by Delirious.

Here I am humbled by your Majesty
Covered by your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in your hands
Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty

Here I am humbled by the love that you give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand, knowing that I'm your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

This song reminded me of great truths of our faith that we hold on to. There are lines in this song I need to be reminded of everyday.
As I was singing, I imagined myself out in some african jungle (stay with me- I am not crazy) hot, dehidrated, lifeless and alone. In this state I had no idea how to provide anything for myself. I had no idea what to eat or how to find anything to drink. I was alone and dying and no one knew where I was. I was going to die alone. God pursued me and found me. When he found me I was dead. I imagined this as my spiritual condition. He has found me dead with nothing to offer him. I am empty handed and the only way to stay alive is when I am in his hands. I am nothing without him. Thank you Lord for choosing me even though I have nothing to offer! I have truly found the greatest love of all. This is the reason I love to sing worship songs. They spark thoughts and remind me of his love. I need to be reminded that I am dead without him.
There is so much more to this song but these are just a couple thoughts I had while singing it.

Passions, frustrations, and ramblings

My mind has been spinning for the last 24 hours. I have no idea why. All of the sudden adoption is ALL that I can think about. We actally got online and looked at the qualifications last night. Our heart (thus far) is for domestic and Haiti. I feel like the longer that time goes on our heart for Haiti grows stronger and stronger. My frustration is seeing the need and not being able to act. We have a "plan" we are moving toward- and I LOVE knowing we are heading toward a certain direction. For a Haitian adoption one of you has to be 30 and you have to have been married for 5 years. Well we are not there yet. Steven has a couple of years left and by that time it will have been 5 years. It is so frustrating because I just don't want to wait. I want to start the adoption process now! Why is my mind filled with holding this tiny child and bringing them into our home? Why if we have to wait for at least 3 years is my heart so focussed on adoption? I am so frustrated. I want to do something but feel like my feet are stuck in cement. I also want to be pregnant. It is just not time. I know its not time, because I can feel it. I have to be patient!
I feel like my husband is such a treasure in my life. I can't imagine feeling these strong emotions and for him to have no clue what I am talking about. I love him so much and praise the Lord that he is a faithful follower of Christ and shares such a huge heart for children. I want so desperately to do things in line with God's timing. I want to strive for righteoussness in my life. When marriages are falling all around us, I want to stay strong and committed. There is so much reward in following God's heart. Oh Lord may I strive to be perfect and hunger for righteoussness!!
Thanks for listening to my ramblings. I just long for children.

P.S. Did anyone watch grey's tonight and think to themselves, "where am I and what the heck am I watching?" I hate to say it but I am losing interest. I love Addison.... she is my favorite character but I don't know- I don't like all this change that is happening. To many affairs too.... its just not panning out the way I would like for it to. I will have to call Shonda and give her some pointers.

P.S.S. Did anyone know that thievery is a real word? Really it is.... I would think it was just theft but its actually a real word. Thievery. Wierd. Just doesn't sound right. I learned it from one of my kids today at work. I did not believe it was a real word. I was wrong.

P.S.S.S. We rented 2 movies last night. #1- Blood Diamond Intense, amazing, makes me want to flush my ring down the toilet. (but its a precious gift from my husband so I wont!!)

#2 The Bodyguard oh yea you heard me right. I got it because its been sooooo long since I have seen it. Steven and I are going to watch it together... I can't wait. Passion, bravery, thievery, (just kidding- see it just doesnt sound right!) fighting for the women he loves... what more could you ask for?

Ok thats enough.... Goodnight!