Well this is the end of this site...

I have moved! Im sorry for the inconvience.
My new blog is:


marisbush.wordpress.com

Come check it out!!

This is it!!

I just found this picture on a friend's facebook in cookeville. I know some of you might not believe this but I jumped off of this cliff. This was the most daring thing I have ever done!!!! I look at this picture and still cannot believe that I did this.

Almost Home..

My sweet husband is almost home! 2 more hours!! I cannot wait to see him:) This will be the start of 3 fun weeks with my man home! My wonderful inlaws are in town until Monday and we are having a blast. Tomorrow is Jimmie and Laura's wedding!!! My sweet Ginger is in town, I got my haircut and gosh I am so excited about the next 2 days!! Did I mention I can't wait to see my hot husband!?!?!

Discussions

If you like a good discussion you might want to venture over to savethesloth.com.

Trying to make a difference...

I need to vent.
In highschool I never ever struggled with weight issues. I was always so skinny. So much of it was because I was playing softball, basketball and constantly active. The last year or so I have really slowed down. I sit a lot more at work and work on the computer, I have a nice comfortable house that I love to come home and watch TV in, I am not playing any sports and honestly I have just gotten very lazy. Needless to say, I have been gaining some weight. All of the sudden my legs, hips, and love handles have grown a little.
Can I just confess that this has become the BIGGEST struggle for me? I feel defeated before I walk out the door to work out. I CANNOT make myself do something and half the time my mind is thinking, "Maris- you should just give in. You are never going to look like you did in highschool again, you should just let it go and give in." I feel very very unattractive and hardly any of my clothes are fitting. I am so very discouraged. You have no idea how hard it is to write this blog. I am sitting here crying knowing this is a reality and that in order for it to change I have to do something. My mind is filled with lies that convince me to just keep laying on the couch. I try so hard to eat good, but all of the sudden food has become comfort and all I think about. What is happening to me? I know that beauty is on the inside and you don't have to be skinny to be beautiful and all of that stuff that we should tell ourselves. This is past all of this. There comes to be a line you cross when you know that your body does not naturally look like that and it is only because you have been lazy. Only you know what you are supposed to look like.
I just got back from running/walking. I did it for 20 mins and thought I was going to die. I am about to do Tae Bo (which I love).
I guess I just wrote this to get all of it out and confess my sin and struggles. This all consumes my thoughts and has me down more than anybody probably knows about. My poor husband is probably running out of things to say and has no idea how big this issue really is to me. I just feel defeated and I guess I am needing help or prayers. I want so badly to run in a half marathon or some kind of race. I throw up the defense mechanism all the time. I honestly do not think I could do it. That is why I don't try. I would be afraid that I would quit and let everybody down. I don't know why I am writing all of this but honestly it just feels really good to let it out. So there you go. These are my biggest life struggles and I have no clue where to start. Any suggestions?

Celebrating Jimmie and Laura!

Today is finally here! We are approaching the week of the Ingram wedding. Today we get to throw a shower for our sweet Laura. It is so much fun to celebrate your friends in one of the most exciting times of their lives. I know that there are a couple friends in the state of Texas that would love to be here with us today but its ok we will see you soon! I cannot wait to take some pics of everybody and put them on here, especially at the wedding. We love you Laura and can't wait for you to relax, open presents and have fun during this part of the journey with your husband (almost!!)

Wife Swap

So tonight I watched Wife Swap. I will occasionally watch this show when there is nothing else on T.V. When you have 5 channels sometimes that is the best you can do. Tonight they had 2 very different families. One of them was ULTRA Conservative Christians and the other was Athiest "Free thinkers." I will be honest, I loved the free thinkers. This woman came into this ultra conservative home and loved on their kids. She was so positive and encouraged them to express themselves. "Big Mama" went into the free thinkers household and started preaching. Why Why Why do they always pick families that judge before they love. She had great intentions and wanted them to experience God but she went about it the wrong way. She tried to force God on them and then of course they lashed out against God. The Free thinking mom talked about growing up in a mormon household and she was told never to question anything but just believe. When one of the christian kids spoke up to ask a question he was immediately shot down. They had a question and answer time with their dad later on in the show- he said that he has never really let them ask questions. He learned a lot about his kids and found out that they did not have to be so insanely strict on them. They are great kids and just needed to be trusted a little. The teenage daughter, because of this show, was allowed to go on her first "group date." Oh gosh I went on so many stinkin group dates in college that the very sound of that phrase makes me cringe sometimes. I mean they were good, but oh gosh. Sorry, I digress.

I think one day I would like to sign up for this show. I would love to first of all have a family with different colors and races blended together and second love the heck out of the other family and see what happens. What if your whole goal was to go on the show and serve them and love them first? Honestly, the show probably would not get aired because they would think it would be boring. No casting out demons and waving my hands in the air screaming, "Glory, Hallelujah!!"


Anyway, off to do some major laundry. I will ponder upon my presence on Wife Swap. Hope everyone is having a wonderful night!

Well this is the end...

We have been in Giddings Texas all week at Camp Tejas for Sagemont Church in Houston. It has been such a peaceful, relaxing week with God, my husband and great friends!

It is now 1:40 in the morning on Saturday night and I am here at Steven's parents house waiting about 12 hours and then I will be flying home. It is all so bittersweet. Outside of our honeymoon I have spent the best week with my husband. We have been together for 7 straight days, all day, everyday. We slept in everyday and had the day to just hang out and be adventerous. I love my job but oh my gosh how wonderful it is to get away and join in my husband's world for a little while. This week we stayed up late with friends every night and ate a ton of food. What a wonderful week. Pictures will come later!

I also had an amazing week with God. I feel once again that my struggles are in His hands and I was able to rest and really worship Him for who He is this week. I am so thankful for struggles. It has reminded me of how amazing it feels to have your feet off of the ground, not knowing what lies ahead and trusting that He is guiding us daily to where He wants us. He has chased me down and renewed my love for Him this week.

Now I will try and get some sleep. I hope my cat is still alive when I get home! Oh how I love my house- I miss it so much!!

Thank you Steven for an amazing week with you. Our time was so precious. You are my best friend and I am so excited to walk through this journey with you. You have surpassed my expectations of marriage. I love you babe :)

OH YEA I FINISHED IT!!

Yes that is right I finished my Tae Bo dvd!! It hurts but I did it!!

Who is the Celebrity now?!?!?!

Tae Bo

Have I ever told any of you how much I love tae bo? Well I do. It will kick your tale!! I have been looking for a new dvd and I went to Walmart the other day and the only one that I could find was the, "Look like a celebrity." I resent looking like a celebrity but it was either that one or not one at all. I was cracking up because during the video he will say, "Who's the Celebrity now? Who looks like a celebrity?" It just cracks me up. I also crack myself up by learning the new moves. I had to close the blinds the other day for fear that someone might see me. I would die if Steven saw me! I am about to start it again. Ohh its going to hurt, but I can do it!

I never went to Mammath Cave. Darn.

I laid out by the pool this afternoon for the first time this summer. Trust me I needed it. I plan on going again tomorrow.

Ginger sent me the cutest shirt in the mail. How sweet is that? I bet everyone would love a sister that does sweet things like that for you!?

I am off to camp in a couple of days. This is my one and only full camp that I am going to. I just put all my marbles on one camp this summer and I think i picked the best one! I am so so excited.

I cannot stop thinking about adoption. Everytime I see an african american little boy I get so choked up. It doesn't help that our 6-8 year old boys at work are the CUTEST kids you have ever seen. They seemed to flock around me more than usual today. One of them drew me a picture, smiled at me, laid it on my desk and ran off. Sometimes I think God puts them up to this.

Alright- off to do Tae Bo

So I think I might be going to Mammoth Cave tomorrow...

I am a little nervous. In college my friends and I would always do crazy stuff. I loved it. One night we went out hiking with a big group looking for water falls and had no idea where we were going. It was an adventure. Of course it was always fun when you just get to college and are getting to know these cute boys that want to take you on this exciting adventure! We left, got lost, found the falls, got down to one flashlight but safely returned. We did this many more times and it was some of my best memories from college. The dumbest thing I have ever done in my life would be the day that I jumped off of a 50 foot cliff. My friend Monica and I were going to hold hands and jump off together. At the last moment one of the guys suggested that it would be safer if we did not hold hands. PRAISE GOD HE SAID THIS! We counted to 3 and ran and I went and she stayed. My feet hit the water flat footed and I thought I had broken them. It hurt so bad. My bathing suit was up to my shoulders but I was alive. I looked up and saw my friend Monica waving to me from the top. Could you imagine what would have happened if we were holding hands and I went for it and she stayed? There were huge rocks that you had to clear on your way down and I venture to say that I would not have cleared them. I honestly do not like to think about this moment of my life. Again I did this to impress the guy I was dating. Girls- If you are dating and you feel as if you need to impress someone and doing something like this would impress him then YOU DON'T NEED TO BE WITH HIM!!! Lesson learned.

Anyway all this to say that we did crazy stuff in college but one night they knocked on my door and asked me to go caving with a big group of people. I will be honest- I DO NOT like the dark (I still have a night light :) and I DO NOT like to be in small confined spaces. Plus again they had no idea where they were going!! I said no and stayed in my nice spacious room and went to bed while my friends across the hall went. They were not supposed to be gone long. I woke up and called her to see if she was back and she said that they had gotten lost and did not get home until like 5 that morning. She said that it was the most scared she had ever been and they did not know if they were going to get out. They were gone for like 7-8 hours. I think I would have been rocking back and forth and in my happy place if that were me.

Needless to say there is a strong possiblity that I will be going to Mammath Cave tomorrow with the kids. I have never been caving. Tonight I will be packing my survivor kit- matches, bottled water, cpr mask, flashlight, Bible, and whatever else I can think of. I am nervous. Surely it will be safe though right? I mean we wouldn't be taking kids if not. I just don't like the dark and I like my space. Anyway I am making sure my house is nice and clean before I leave. I love you all- wish me luck!!

Hotel Rwanda

I hate sin. I hate evil. I hate this world and what it does to people. I hate our comfortable lives here in America where we sit back and do nothing. I hate my fear when I watch a movie like this. I hate that my flesh would rather fade into the crowd than do something. I hate the fact that in the movie these white reporters showed some graphic deadly scenes to a man from Rwanda and he was relieved that they got the footage because maybe people would actually do something to help out. The reporters response was, "They wil probably watch this and say to themselves, wow that is horrible and then go back to eating their dinner." What does all of this materialism do to us? We are fools. We are blind and wrapped up in its snare. We are caught in its trap. I want to make a difference in this world. How the hell do I do this? Where do I start? Anything is better than not doing anything. When can I just let go?

Watch this movie. You will walk away with a new perspective. My thoughts are with Haiti. How my heart burns for that country. However I find that America is in the same boat. My heart burns for both.

Here we go....

Well I was getting online to journal about Steven leaving tomorrow and Jamie beat me to it!! haha
We are packing. I am folding clothes for Steven and he is running around all over trying to get everything ready to head out tomorrow. I have never felt more prepared and at peace than this summer. This is summer number 3 for us. It feels good to be at a good place spiritually before heading into it. I don't think we will have to go more than 1 week without seeing each other and we all have Jimmie and Laura's wedding to look forward to at the end of all the camps! I get the blessing of going one looonnng week in June with the guys to Giddings Texas with our wonderful friends Matt and Rachel. I am soo looking forward to staying up late and having girl time. I absolutely feel so blessed to live this life. I would not trade my husbands job for anything in this world. Even with the bad days. I love it. It is only by God's love in our lives that it continues to work out better than expected every summer.

Steven worked hard on the house this week and I worked hard in the yard. HAHA funny huh? He made several home improvements and I am so excited about them. We now have a fan in our bedroom and a new Starbucks looking light in our kitchen instead of that huge, ugly candle thing. He also spray painted the blades on our fan in the living room and bought new globes for the lights. We have switched all of our light bulbs to the curly ones (energy saving lights) haha. We are a little greener :)

This is a cute pic from Chad and Steph's wedding of us. Maybe one of my favorites we have taken. We had a wonderful weekend at the wedding! It was a blast and we are looking forward to seeing those crazy kids tomorrow. They will have the glow I bet!

Thanks to Memorial Day for a much needed day off! I get to go to Chattanooga tomorrow with the guys and spend the night. I am really excited! Everyone have a wonderful weekend!

God's Faithfulness

Romans 8:28
And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

This last week I have felt God pursuing my heart. I was challened this week by a great man of God named Coach Fred. Ronnie is very blessed to have this man in his life everyday as his basketball coach up at Moody.
I have found a pattern in myself of worrying whether things will work out. I worry about outcomes. I did this this weekend in Texas. I had voiced some of this worrying to Coach and he looked at me and said, "Maris- do you not believe that God works all things together for the good of those who love him?" I was challenged in that moment with my belief in the word of God. Do I live my life BELIEVING and walking in this truth that God has put in his word. I know it in my head and could quote that verse to you- but I will be honest, I have not laid my life on top of this verse and taken my feet off the ground. The more in which I thought about this verse the more I could look back in my life and see the evidence. Example- If you know us you know that the summer months are very challenging for us. As I look back every summer God has provided strength and random chances to see my husband while he has been gone. The details of me getting off of work have always worked out. God has his mighty hand in my life. I think about Joseph in the Bible. He was arrested for a crime he did not do. Again he stayed faithful and God worked it together for good. This life is not about me and things working out for my good. I will tell you that my trust in the Father has grown this week. I trust him more and I am not worrying as much. This verse has brought so much freedom.

I have been thinking here lately about why we sing worship songs. This weekend as I sat under Spur leading worship we sang a song that they sing often. This song is called Majesty by Delirious.

Here I am humbled by your Majesty
Covered by your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in your hands
Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty

Here I am humbled by the love that you give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand, knowing that I'm your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

This song reminded me of great truths of our faith that we hold on to. There are lines in this song I need to be reminded of everyday.
As I was singing, I imagined myself out in some african jungle (stay with me- I am not crazy) hot, dehidrated, lifeless and alone. In this state I had no idea how to provide anything for myself. I had no idea what to eat or how to find anything to drink. I was alone and dying and no one knew where I was. I was going to die alone. God pursued me and found me. When he found me I was dead. I imagined this as my spiritual condition. He has found me dead with nothing to offer him. I am empty handed and the only way to stay alive is when I am in his hands. I am nothing without him. Thank you Lord for choosing me even though I have nothing to offer! I have truly found the greatest love of all. This is the reason I love to sing worship songs. They spark thoughts and remind me of his love. I need to be reminded that I am dead without him.
There is so much more to this song but these are just a couple thoughts I had while singing it.

Passions, frustrations, and ramblings

My mind has been spinning for the last 24 hours. I have no idea why. All of the sudden adoption is ALL that I can think about. We actally got online and looked at the qualifications last night. Our heart (thus far) is for domestic and Haiti. I feel like the longer that time goes on our heart for Haiti grows stronger and stronger. My frustration is seeing the need and not being able to act. We have a "plan" we are moving toward- and I LOVE knowing we are heading toward a certain direction. For a Haitian adoption one of you has to be 30 and you have to have been married for 5 years. Well we are not there yet. Steven has a couple of years left and by that time it will have been 5 years. It is so frustrating because I just don't want to wait. I want to start the adoption process now! Why is my mind filled with holding this tiny child and bringing them into our home? Why if we have to wait for at least 3 years is my heart so focussed on adoption? I am so frustrated. I want to do something but feel like my feet are stuck in cement. I also want to be pregnant. It is just not time. I know its not time, because I can feel it. I have to be patient!
I feel like my husband is such a treasure in my life. I can't imagine feeling these strong emotions and for him to have no clue what I am talking about. I love him so much and praise the Lord that he is a faithful follower of Christ and shares such a huge heart for children. I want so desperately to do things in line with God's timing. I want to strive for righteoussness in my life. When marriages are falling all around us, I want to stay strong and committed. There is so much reward in following God's heart. Oh Lord may I strive to be perfect and hunger for righteoussness!!
Thanks for listening to my ramblings. I just long for children.

P.S. Did anyone watch grey's tonight and think to themselves, "where am I and what the heck am I watching?" I hate to say it but I am losing interest. I love Addison.... she is my favorite character but I don't know- I don't like all this change that is happening. To many affairs too.... its just not panning out the way I would like for it to. I will have to call Shonda and give her some pointers.

P.S.S. Did anyone know that thievery is a real word? Really it is.... I would think it was just theft but its actually a real word. Thievery. Wierd. Just doesn't sound right. I learned it from one of my kids today at work. I did not believe it was a real word. I was wrong.

P.S.S.S. We rented 2 movies last night. #1- Blood Diamond Intense, amazing, makes me want to flush my ring down the toilet. (but its a precious gift from my husband so I wont!!)

#2 The Bodyguard oh yea you heard me right. I got it because its been sooooo long since I have seen it. Steven and I are going to watch it together... I can't wait. Passion, bravery, thievery, (just kidding- see it just doesnt sound right!) fighting for the women he loves... what more could you ask for?

Ok thats enough.... Goodnight!

I voted for...

Tonight for the first time ever I voted during American Idol. I decided because I was "inspired" to help starving kids in Africa and America. Great cause. Good call Simon on this show. Oh yes, I voted twice for Jordin Sparks. The girlz got Skillz!! I will be honest I was crying by the end of her song. Steven is just convinced that it costs money. Maybe it does. I only voted twice :)

Steven's birthday is Thursday!! He is getting old :)
I am sure he would love a call from each and everyone of his friends on Thursday, wink wink :)
It is also Ginger's Birthday. I am sure she would love a call also.
I love my 2 favorite people on this earth! (My parents excluded!)

Godtube

Thanks to Ginger I have a new blog for this morning.
Forgive me as I vent for a moment....
Did everyone know that there is a Godtube out there?
REALLY? SERIOUSLY! Why oh why do we have to copy everything that the world does?
Why could you not freakin call it something else?? Why?!
Why does everything have to be cheesy?
Do we think God is cheesy?
I don't know, maybe I just think my friends and I are the cool kids in the
cafeteria. That could be something wrong with me but I still don't think its
an excuse for the chrisian world to be so freakin cheesy.
COME UP WITH SOMETHING ON YOUR OWN INSTEAD OF COPYING
WHAT IS ALREADY THERE!!

My Sweet Husband...

Well yesterday while I was at work Steven had a busy day! Our church has relocated their office and Steven, Aaron and Jimmie went to help them move. (Which I thought was really sweet since it is their time off) My mom and dad are getting their house ready to put on the market soon and Sunday we went over to celebrate my dad's 50? somthing birthday. Man he is getting old! Anyway they gave us some of my grandmother's rosebush, iris's, and an oak tree to plant in our yard. I was so excited because the rosebush and iris' both came from my grandmother who passed about a year or so ago. She was awesome at yard work and I wish she was still around to teach me everything she knows about sewing and yardwork. It means a lot to me to have a little bit of her personality in my yard... just makes me think of her.

ANYWAY, I digress....So while I was at work, Steven cut our grass and planted everything in the yard and it looks great! I can't wait for it all to bloom. He works so hard on the maintence of our yard and house and I appreciate so much that he is so handy.

So after I got home and was so proud of what he had done to the yard we started cooking dinner together. I love this! We had boiled shrimp, baked fries, and ranch style beans (a Texas dinner). it was dark by the time we had dinner done and he mentioned that he wanted to eat outside. While I finished up inside he went outside on our deck and got the table ready. When I came out he had set the table up and had candles and our favorite love songs playing on the ipod speakers! It was so sweet and romantic!! After dinner we spontaniously started dancing under the stars to "My Girl." Ok... I know this is getting mushy but I just had to brag on my sweet husband.

Baby I love you so much and appreciate that you are so spontanious and romantic. I love you more everyday.

I tried to take pictures but they looked dumb with the flash and were to dark without it.

Questions from Jesus

This morning I was reading in John 6 when Jesus was about to feed the 5,000. Jesus was with his disciples and a large crowd was following behind them because they had seen how Jesus had been healing the sick. They went on top of the mountain and looked at the crowd coming and Jesus said to Philip, "Where are we to buy bread so that these people may eat?" I love this question. I can just picture them all sitting together talking and then seeing this crowd coming and then one of the asks this question. But not just one of them asks the question- Jesus asks the question. Phillip answers, "Two hundred denarii would not buy enough bread for each of them to get a little." Immediately Phillip heard this question and began trying to figure out a plan, then got overwhelmed, and had doubt (maybe even some sarcasm). He questioned back Jesus without even seeing Jesus. There are times in my life when God asks me to do things and I try to work out a plan and then get frustrated and give up. I try my way first instinctively without asking God what His way is first. Or how about with money? When God asks us to bless someone or something unexpected comes up we try to figure out how to do it without believing God provides. It's like Jesus asks us, knowing what the answer is but trying to teach us to believe in Him first before ourselves. Jesus knew He was about to feed the 5,000. I want to be a person that walks hand in hand with Jesus through this life. When we come upon something that does not look possible to get through- I don't want him to have to ask me, "Maris how are we going to get through this?" I want to look at Him first and say, "what are your suggestions?"

Question....

By the way did anyone see Aaron out there playing?!?!?
He was the video man huh? Good excuse :)

For the record... Aaron came to me before the WIFFLE (i know how to spell it now:) anyway Aaron came to me before the game and said, "Maris, I know you have played ball since you were 7 but wouldnt it be funny to have someone that is such a good player totally strike out. That would be funny and make Jimmie feel better." So I said sure Aaron.... I can take one for the team, I know what a bad player the spur guys are at wiffle ball. So here ya go! Aaron I think you captured it well thanks:)

Fun times this weekend:)

These are pics from this spur family weekend extravaganza!! Thanks to Laura for sending us the pics. Friday night we had a fun shower for Chad and Steph's long awaited wedding! It was so much fun and I am so glad to be celebrating the 2 of them and their exciting life together. We love you guys!!
Sunday after church we had our annual Spur family picnic. Steven and Aaron cooked up some food and after we played an intense game of wuffle (did i spell that right? Thats a hard word... Is it woofle, or wuffle?) ball. Like the true Boys's and Girl's Club way, we play out of fun and good sportsmanship. Who am I kidding? There was so much trash talk and by the way our team beat Chad's!! The 10 of us were finally at the same place at the same time and I think (I could be wrong) but I think this is the first full (everybody's taken- all the perminant girls) all boys and girls spur picture! I wish we had gotten one Friday night when we were all dressed up but this one is fun enough! Thank you guys for such a fun weekend with the fam. I love each one of you and am so thankful for you in our lives. Thanks Aaron and Jamie for all of your planning :)

However....

Tonight after my 3rd burned batch of baked french fries, I cried out in distress, "I WANT TO BE A GOOD COOK!!" He looked at me in love and said, "I know honey and I want to be an astronaut one day."
(Mom don't read this part...)
So I stuck my middle finger up at him and made him eat on the couch with Gracie.

Ok. That is not totally true. I thought it was pretty funny. I just threw the oven mit at him.
....Maybe cooking isn't in the cards for me :(

My Grumpy Husband

While watching this video my heart was saddened by this. I am sorry for you boys that you think my sweet husband is grumpy all the time. He is never grumpy when he is home with me! *wink wink* I guess you just can't make him happy like I can! :)

Taking a break...

With the smell of pinesol and tilex mixing in the air (i know, i know... be careful) I am sitting down resting for a minute. I am pooped. Scrubbing the shower and moping everything can wear you out! I love cleaning my house on Sunday. So much so that I think I could neglect everything all week long and then clean like crazy Sunday. Wait, I think that is what I do!! haha I love raising the windows, airing out the house and letting all the sunlight in. I've got college basketball on the tv and my sweetie is an hour from being home :) We had a wonderful morning at church. I will post more about the sermon later because I thought it was very thought provoking on a very tough subject. Did I mention that we love our church?? Anyway, more to come later and I should get back to cleaning.

It has been 2 years today!!!

Today is our 2 year anniversary! I cannot believe how fast time has flown by. This time 2 years ago I was probably heading to the church to get ready. I think Steven was probably at American Eagle picking out his clothes for the Honeymoon!!

Sometimes I wish I could go back and relive that day. Its sad because I can't remember a lot of it because I was so overwhelmed. The time has flown by. Now we are sitting, after sleeping in this morning, in our living room of our house we are love with both typing away on our computers. I wish we were heading out for Cancun tomorrow. I don't think we will ever take another trip as great as that one was.

I have attached our wedding video here. JUST KIDDING LAURA!! You know we have to watch it today though. Its a tradition! Anyway we were so blessed at how wonderful our friends and parents were on that day and we still are so blessed to have each of you still in our lives. I love walking through life together with you all!

Laura and Jimmie you are next :)
After Chad and Steph
and Marcus and Crystal

lazy day

So I am having a lazy day. I have so many things that I want to do but am not motivating myself to get up and do them. Maybe this post will encourage me to move and make it a productive Saturday. There are so many times throughout the week when I think, "gosh I wish I had more time to get this done." Well now that I do have time I am not doing anything. Ok... I think I am going to go wash the car. That sounds productive right?

I had a revelation tonight...

From as far back as I can remember I have had a fear of losing someone close to me that I love. When I was younger it was my dad. I would have vivid dreams at night about my dad dying. I was always so afraid of this. Now that I am married I live with the worry that I am going to lose my husband. He travels so much and sometimes I can make up these horrible scenarios if I dont hear from him.
This is how messed up my brain is...
One time I was in the shower and I thought I heard something outside the door. I had shampoo in my hair and I thought to myself, "it was probably nothing." Then the thought crossed my mind that what if Steven was having some type of medical emergency or something fell on him, or somebody broke into our house and stabbed him and he was crawling across the floor trying to make enough noise so that I would hear him and get out of the shower and call 911. So I decided to get out of the shower, dripping water all over the floor and check on him. I opened the door and I saw my cat next to the door and Steven laughing and wondering what I was doing. He was obviously fine and come to find out my cat had been pawing at the door making the mysteious noise. This is how my brain works on a daily basis. I know, I know pray for me, love on me and feed me with truth because my brain is strange.
This weekend I am with Steven at a youth event. The speaker this morning talked about how important it was to be honest during prayer. So many times I start praying and then pull back trying to figure out what He would say and never give Him the chance to speak. We went over a couple passages like, Ps. 109 and Ps. 73. We found some very honest prayers by godly men about people they were furious with. It can be dangerous to share gossip and anger toward someone to other believers but we can always take our anger, frustrations, fears and everything else to God.
Well if you know me well I have probably expressed my fear of losing my husband with you. Tonight during worship I finally voiced that fear to God. Almost immediately God gave me the answer to working out this fear in my life. I sat down and wrote this out.
"When I think my greatest fear is losing my husband I find that it is merely a mask to the ultimate fear in my life. My greatest fear is, in that moment is God really enough? Is He really sufficiant? Is He really all I need?"
My perspective in this situation has changed a bit. I honestly don't feel that afraid anymore. I want my actions and beliefs to line up with my words. In the absolute lowest point of my life I want God to be all that I need. I am now working on this fear in my life.

LENT

I know that I am a little late here but I guess its better to be late than never right?
I need to first of all say that I am extrememly encouraged by my friends. I have listened (read) about my sweet friends, Lacey, Ginger, and Jamie practicing Lent this season and their sacrifices have encouraged me to investigate further. I had never really heard about Lent before except during a history class in highschool. This crazy teacher we had always talked about it but its been so long ago. Through my friends telling of their sacrifices, I had become a little jealous. I have hit a wall here lately with myself. I was doing so well working out almost everyday and spending time with God, and praying with Steven in the mornings. My house was really clean there for a while and I was working really hard. I honestly don't know what happened but now my house is a wreck, I watch TV all the time and I feel fat from not working out and eating. You know how you can just hit a slump in your life and just hate who you have become? Well that is me now. So what could be a better time for Lent?
Well I have thought about it a lot. I really feel as if I will benefit from my sacrifices. These are things that distract me from self examination. I dont have to think or feel when I absorb myself in these. These couple things, sadly enough, take up most of my time and I would love to experience some time with out them. So here it goes. This is what I am giving up.

1. I am limiting myself to 2 shows. No other TV.
2. I am only checking my email and blogging. (or researching)
3. I am giving up sweets. They are a comfort food for me.


I might add one more later. I need to still think so more.
Its funny as I read other people's sacrifices they sound so similar to mine. I guess we all have things we run to to distract us. These are HUGE things in my life. TV, internet and certain foods. This really will be a sacrifice but I am exstatic to reflect upon the true sacrifice that Christ has made for us. I am excited to deny myself and see how addicted I have become to these things. I want God to do something huge in my life! I want to change! I want to know what is under there when the numbness wears off.
Thank you Lacey, Ginger and Jamie for pushing me through your lives!

If anyone ever needs pics taken Alison Bynum is the best!!

A day in the life of Spur58....

A Day in Omaha

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four jobs i have had in my life:
1-Bagger at Publix
2-assistant at the Gideons International (NO i didnt wear a Bible costume and hand out Bibles!)
3-Nashville Shores Water Park (2 summers)
4-Hibbett Sports Assistant Manager (Thats right... you know your impressed)

movies i would watch over and over:
1-My best Friends wedding
2-Little Miss Sunshine
3-how to lose a guy in 10 days
4-Just Married

four places i have lived:
1-Panama City, FL
2-Cookeville, TN
3-Murfreesboro, TN
4-Memphis, TN

four places i have been on vacation:
1-Cancun
2-Gatlinburg
3-Chattanooga
4-Danbury Texas
These are impressive arent they!!

four of my favorite foods are:
1-SUSHI
2-Cheescake at the Cheescake factory
3-Bean Burritoes
4-Spicy Chang's Chicken

four places i would rather be right now:
1-Cancun with my husband :)
2-A cabin in Gatlinburg with my closest girl friends
3-Laying out at the beach, staying in a nice condo
4-In my bed, asleep

It was a great morning

I am so thankful for our Church!! Steven and I have been without a Church for about 3 years now. (A year before we were married and now 2 years together) We looked and looked for a church that we could be plugged into that would put the right emphasis on the right things. We had almost given up. We have been attending this new church for a couple of months now and every week I love it more and more. It is refreshing, so exciting, and challenging. Every week I feel like I have my butt kicked and yet I feel more encouraged to keeping running in this race to the finish line.
This morning we started a series on generous living. We are going through stewardship and living a life of generosity. Everytime I hear the word stewardship, I like most everybody else think about money. I am learning that stewardship is so much more than money. We are not owners of our possesions, we are merely managers. I own nothing. What do I have that was not given to me? Do I truly value what has been given to me? Just a thought- Is my value of our house reflected by the cleanliness of it? Would people in my life say that I am truly thankful for what God has given me and it is reflected by how I manage those things?
I want so badly to live a life of generosity! However to many times I find myself wanting to hoard what God has given us and to covet what God has blessed somebody else with. I find myself always wanting the next thing. I am really looking forward to the next 6 weeks of this series. I hope that God changes my views and allows me to fall deeper in love with a lifestyle of generosity and stewardship. I want my life to be a reflection of the generosity of Christ laying down everything in obediance. God has been so generous to each of us. We are truly rich! What will we do with these riches?

Grey's Anatomy...

So Steven and I just watched Grey's together. That was not an easy episode to watch. Does it make anybody want to call their dad and tell them how much they love him and confess all the things you ever did wrong without telling him? Oh my gosh, how much do I absolutely treasure my precious parents. Good grief, it was a little emotional. I could not hold back the tears. (I am sure that is not shocking to any of you)

Fun day...

Today was fun. I love how friends add so much to your life. I ran by Jamie's today and saw the boys and I loved how they were having jammy day, then I stopped by the Cosby's and they were having renovation day. Tonight Laura and I went to Amanda Jones bday party at her and Mel's apt and that was great to see everybody. Friends are just fun.

I was thinking about how blessed my life is. I have been blessed with some really sweet friendships. I love how friends can be thousands of miles apart but the friendship never changes. My friend Candace just moved to Colorado to start a new exciting chapter of her life and Lacey is in Vancouver or however you spell that and I am so excited to see where God takes her and what He does in her life. My sweet Ginger is in Dallas and God has blessed her so much with a new job. Rachel and Susanna are in Houston (with all the good food) with new babies :) Shaunna and Amanda Shwortz (haha) are 30 mins away in Nashville and Erin and Tracy are in Franklin. Jamie, Laura, Tamara and I are here in Murfreesboro and I know for me I find myself wishing that everyone could be in one place.

Its so fun to meet more and more friends though. I have found that I thrive the best when I am around people and especially great friends that will push me, laugh with me and just hang out. My favorite times in my life are always with my friends and family.
It would be so easy to just surround yourself with your best friends all the time. I guess that is a part of what Heaven will be one day. I know it is so much more than that obviously but just the aspect of having everyone together and never feeling separation again would be wonderful. I know that I am so encouraged everytime I am around each one of my friends and even meeting new friends. Just to see how God uses us all where we are at. We are all different and unique with different gifts and yet we are all used. I am just really thankful for you all.

SLACKER

Sorry its been so long. We have been in the process of selling one computer and buying another one for me... Tonight is the first night I have it and I am so excited! Thanks Aaron.

We have been busy through the holidays with family here at our house. Steven's parents and his brother came to Murfreesboro and stayed at our house for Christmas. We hung out with my family and did all the "Christmas stuff." We really had an amazing time with both of our families. This Christmas was very special. This was the first year that Steven and I had a house to decorate and have people stay with us. We are more and more thankful for our house everyday.

After Christmas the Spur family went to Gatlinburg. The guys were playing at a big confrence there and it was a great excuse for us all to get away and have some fun. Aaron and Jamie were so sweet to work it out for all of us to stay in a cabin together. We had fun all cooking together and hanging out.

Anyway I am going to try and do better at this blog thing:)